When it comes to Britney Spears’ hard knocks and how she should fix ‘em, everybody seems to have an opinion. (Ours is that she might want to consider a lovely little vacation in Kentwood, where there are plenty of doctors and no paparazzi). But rarely have the celebs offering their support come across as even more insane than Britney herself. Cue Madonna and Rosie O’Donnell.

It is unclear whether crazy juice was served on the set of A League of Their Own, where Madonna and Rosie first became bosom buddies, but each has come out today with their own nutball thoughts on the Britney situation. Rosie, appearing on Good Morning America today, said she believes that the pressure of being the face of bipolar disorder may be too much strain on the young pop star. The solution? “I want to be the new Britney Spears.” Well, we can certainly see why you would want to be younger, thinner and blond, but huh? “Rather than put her face on mental iilness, or Brooke Shields - who had postpartum depression - use me.” That’s right. The woman who says claims her mental illness started on the day of Columbine. Because of Columbine.

But it gets better. Madonna, in her interview for this month’s Vanity Fair, had this to say about the stalkerazzi’s relationship with Britney: “When you think about the way people treat each other in Africa, about witchcraft and people inflicting cruelty and pain on each other, then come back here and, you know, people taking pictures of people when they’re in their homes, being taken to hospitals, or suffering, and selling them, getting energy from them, that’s a terrible infliction of cruelty.” I’m sorry, witchcraft? It’s not so much that Madge is comparing Britney’s treatment to that of the continent of Africa by foreign governments, which would still be overblown and ridiculous. It’s that she appears to be comparing the case of Brit Brit v. Paparazzi to the tribal infighting of the Sub-Saharan desert. We look forward to future nonsensical Madonna interviews, where she compares Lindsay Lohan’s drug abuse to the oppression of Tibetan monks, or Chace Crawford & Carrie Underwood’s breakup to the partition of the Mandate of Palestine.

Rosie O’Donnell

Former View Television host Rosie O’Donnell wants to return to TV with a new sitcom starring her friend Fran Drescher. The controversial star is determined to stage a comeback to the small screen after she quit The View in May of last year. O’Donnell had been lined up to front her own chat show for cable network MSNBC, but the deal fell through. And now the star is planning on creating a new entertainment program with her good friend Drescher in the lead role.In a video post on O’Donnell’s website, she says, “Now, Fran and I have a new sitcom, but we can’t talk about it, right?” Drescher adds, “We’re going to do a new, fun, happy, family comedy.” The project is reported to be in its early stages with O’Donnell’s spokeswoman insisting that it’s “way too premature” to discuss.

Rosie O’Donnell wrote the following lengthy diatribe on her blog comparing Britney to Princess Diana:

I remember the tunnel as it appeared on the news, lit by headlights, flashlights, red lights. Between the cement tall pillars was a heap of twisted metal. I saw it then, and I can see it now. Diana dead.

She will be trying to get away, but they will chase her, just as they chased her into that church yesterday. There were dozens of them, jostling their way into sanctuary, elbowing past each other, just to creep closer to her. Even her last-minute, folded-hand prayers can’t be kept sacred. There can be no silent moments in a crowd; no silence, and no secrets.

All this fresh, painful frailty costs her so much, but it lines their pockets very well. A kings ransom was paid for those tabloid-ready cheap shots of her with messy hair, tear-soaked eyes, and the half-smile of a desperate baby girl.
“I’m scared,” she told them yesterday, when they later mobbed her at court. “Move back,” she said. “I’m scared. Stop it. Stop it. I want to get back in the car. Just stop it. Let me get in the car, please.”
Sometimes it really is too much. Internal wires cross. Anxiety hits. Panic sets in the heart. Dread. Fear.
But she asked for it, she’s a public figure.
At eight years old, she bravely stood before a microphone. By 17, she had sold 25 million records. Where were the sidewalk-skinned knees, the chalk stained hands, the monkey bars, the passed notes? A Disney set is not a childhood, no matter how many bright colors they use, or how cheerful the script.
Not a girl, barely even a woman yet, they chased her. A mob of stalkers for whom no stalking laws have been written. Smother. Crush. Flash. Photo Credit. Even Dr. “Get Real” Phil got in on the action. Unreal.
83 million albums sold so far. How many pictures?
The tunnel is crowded now. There are only inches of separation between vulnerability and disaster.

Britney Spears and Princess Di really are alike. Remember when Britney went to all those countries on humanitarian missions? Or that time Princess Di flashed her vagina to the paparazzi? Maybe Britney is a clone of Diana. That would explain the British accent. And why she keeps flashing her nipples… My God, Rosie’s right! Get Scotland Yard on the phone. Rosie O’Donnell’s ridiculous amount of free time has done it again. Amazing. I bet she sits at home smoking a pipe and looking into a magnifying glass.

Photos: INFdaily.com

ROSIE O’Donnell who just won a Blogger’s Choice Award for “best celebrity blogger” for her Web site - has been taking the videos of herself, her family and her beloved dolphins swimming in the waters in Miami with a Flip video, a hand-held, one-button camera. In fact, she has promoted the company so much, it’s now in talks with Rosie to become the camera’s spokeswoman. “She discovered Flip on her own and started blogging about it,” said the company’s rep. “We have started talking to her to see if there can be an official relationship. There was a talk two weeks ago and a talk last week. I don’t know the status yet.”

(source)

I don’t know why I find this so funny, but I do. It’s probably from smoking all that wee…..tea. Yeah, tea will just give you the fucking giggles. Especially when you smoke it. Chamomile will do tricks on ya! So it’s a video of Rosie O’Donnell filming a scene for Nip/Tuck in which her character gets attacked by an eagle. It airs this Tuesday.

So weird….

I hope that eagle puppet gets some kind of recognition come Emmy time.

Claudia Schiffer and her nipples come out of retirement for Chanel - Egotastic! 

The new and improved Lindsay Lohan wears panties - (site NSFW) - Drunken Stefpather

John Mayer and Minka Kelly are still going strong - Just Jared 

Reese’s little son already has a job - Popsugar 

Elisha Cuthbert chopped off all her hair - Hollywood Tuna 

Sarah Michelle Gellar in Maxim - Mollygood 

O.J. Simpson has a short memory - IDLYITW 

Olivia Munn’s lesbian kiss - Cityrag 

Rosie O’Donnell is a Britaloonie - Hollywood Rag 

Alicia Keys is not her real name - A Socialite’s Life

Rosie O’Donnell’s fat mouth cost her a show. Rosie said on her blog yesterday that she was in talks with MSNBC for her own show, but when she “let it slip” at a book signing the network got nervous and dumped her ass.

She wrote:

msnbc

one hour

live

following keith olbermann

we were close to a deal
almost done
i let it slip in miami
causing panic on the studio end

well
what can u do

2day there is no deal
poof
my career as a pundit is over
b4 it began

just as well
i figure
everything happens for a reason
bashert - as we say

and on we go

That sort of sucks. I was looking forward to Ro’s crazy ass on television again. Oh well! MSNBC probably realized that bitch will probably turn on them in the long run and start blabbing about it. I can already hear Donald Trump’s response, “Rosie is a fat, degenerate, ugly, disgusting….”  

The NY Times reports that Rosie O’Donnell is in talks with MSNBC for her own show. NBC executives tell the Times that Rosie may take over the 9pm hour competing against Larry King on CNN. Dan Abrams currently has the 9pm slot on MSNBC.

NBC has been trying to woo Rosie for a few months including having her host a game show. There’s no deal in place, but talks are continuing.

I’m into it. “The View” has been boring as hell lately, because there’s no Rosie on it to start shit.  Rosie is crazy as hell and crazy people need to be on TV. That’s just a fact.

You know and I never pictured Rosie O tickling the cat’s armpit before I saw this picture. Ugh, I think I’ll skip dinner.