Mary J. Blige, Former U.S. President, Bill Clinton and Matt Damon

Elvis Costello and Matt Damon

Matt Damon, Luciana Bozan Barroso

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MATT Damon’s wife, Luciana, so loved Sarah Silverman’s video proclaiming, “I’m f - - - ing Matt Damon,” that she took it to heart. “Somebody sent [her] a shirt that said, ‘I’m f - - - ing Matt Damon,’ and there was a note with it. ‘You’re actually the only person who can wear this.’ I swear it wasn’t me who sent it,” Damon tells parade.com. “She was pregnant at the time, so it was really funny to watch her wear the shirt . . . We both laughed a lot.”

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Matt Damon campaigned aggressively for Barack Obama last year. So why wasn’t he in Washington D.C. last week for the historic inauguration?

“[My wife] Luciana and I decided we wanted to go,” he tells the Miami Herald. “But when I called my contacts from the campaign, they just started laughing: ‘We worked on the campaign for 2 1/2 years, and we’re not going. Forget it.’

“But then they called me back the next day and said, ‘Hey, we’ve got two tickets for you, in the bleachers, and you’ll actually be able to see Obama take the oath. Just $25,000 apiece.’”

It was then that Damon (who lives with his wife and three daughters in Miami Beach) knew, “I’m going to watch. From my couch.”

Damon — whose latest Untitled Jason Bourne Project is now in production for a 2010 release — also spoke out about how his famous assassin character is nothing like James Bond.

“They could never make a James Bond movie like any of the Bourne films,” Damon said. “Because Bond is an imperialist, misogynist sociopath who goes around bedding women and swilling martinis and killing people. He’s repulsive.

“Steve [Soderbergh, who produced Damon’s 2005 spy movie, Syriana] told me that years ago he was offered a Bond movie,” the actor went on. “He told them he’d do it if they gave him creative control.

“‘Absolutely not,’ they said. They have a formula, they stick to it, and it makes them a lot of money. They know what they’re doing, and they’re going to keep doing it.”

When he does a Bourne film, Damon later added, he never feels like he’s “slumming.”

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There were cries of adulation - and also of hunger - as Matt Damon and Haitian-born singer Wyclef Jean toured the flood-ravaged city of Gonaives on Sunday to call attention to a humanitarian crisis.

Successive hits from one tropical storm and three hurricanes submerged the city and cut off roadways in and out. Where waters have receded, streets remained a stinking mud bath and homes were left with a carpet of muck and encrusted pots, pans and laundry.

As Damon and Jean surveyed the destruction from the back of a pickup truck in a U.N. convoy, a man on a bicycle followed as far as he could, shouting out, “Wyclef, I love you, Wyclef.” Jean raised his hand, but couldn’t bring himself to smile back.

“It’s inhumane. I wish there was a word in the dictionary. No human should be living like this.”

Catching first sight of flooded homes and people living on roofs with all their belongings, Damon also was at a loss.

“I’m speechless, I can’t believe it,” he said.

Damon and Jean are encouraging more people to help the United Nations raise more than US$100 million for an estimated 800,000 Haitians in need of aid after four devastating tropical storms and hurricanes since mid-August. He went to school shelter to dropped off cooking oil from USAID and bags of beans from the World Food Program.

A proud and restive city, Gonaives is where Haiti signed its declaration of independence from France in 1804 as the world’s first black republic. Bloody protests here in 1985 led to the downfall of the father-son Duvalier dictatorship, and in 2004 a deadly march led to the ouster of President Jean-Bertrand Aristide.

But Hurricane Ike provoked an exodus and flooded nearly every structure.

The Gonaives police buried dozens of unidentified corpses before they stopped counting the dead. Aid agencies are concerned about medical supplies at mobile clinics treating stomach ailments, respiratory problems and cuts and infections from people walking in flooded streets.

Damon and Jean later waded through knee-deep floodwaters and climbed a stage outside the Gonaives cathedral, where about 50 people have taken refuge in the choir balcony.

Jean, who lives in New York but remains a folk hero in Haiti, sang briefly and urged crowd to stay calm and organized.

“If you love Wyclef, yell ‘help,’” said the singer and founder of the Yele Haiti philanthropic foundation.

The crowd surged the stage, and when Jean later tried to leave, people instead swept him out into the streets. Admirers clung to U.N. trucks as they drove away, some asking for money.

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Ben Affleck brings the gang out for dinner.

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I think we can put those rumors that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are splitting to rest now that we see they are still happy together.

BTW how cute is Luciana pregnant with Matt Damon’s second kid! And that these four can still double date together!

Lastly where are their f*ck buddies Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman? 

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Having already identified the source of the famous scruff from Guess the Celebrity Nape!, we now invite you to browse further sumptuous set stills from Steven Soderbergh’s The Informant—where star Matt Damon can be found undertaking a harrowing physical transformation into paunchy, Mai Tai-loving, real-world whistleblower Mark Whitacre. Wait one second: agricultural price-fixing scams? Boooring. We have a better idea: What ever happened to that Summer School remake? We’ve got our perfect Mr. Shoop right here!

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Matt Damon

Matt Damon And His Beautiful Wife Luciana
Matt Damon and his pregnant wife, Luciana Bozan had dinner at Dan Tana’s restaurant the other night in West Hollywood, California. This couple has class. They just go their own way and no fighting with the photographers.

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