Carmen Electra and Rob Patterson

Linda Thompson and her son Brody Jenner pose with DJ Vice

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Heidi and Spenser kick off the New Year.

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James Freanco and Chloe Sevigny

T.I.

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Kristin Cavallari enjoying News Years Eve in a hot sexy bikini at the beach.

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I think we can put all those Paris Hilton and George Clooney dating rumors to rest. Apparently Paris is doing the dirty this week with Brandon Davis while over in Sydney. I am sure the people in Australia are grateful that none of their citizens will be forced to hook up with either of the couple. Can you imagine what a petri dish would look like if you combined Paris and Brandon? It would be like the second coming of the Ebola virus.

In addition to the general nastiness which would be a Brandon and Paris hookup comes this interesting piece of news. About 3am on January 1st, a man was pulled over in Sydney for allegedly driving drunk. After he blew a .05 which is legally drunk in Sydney, the cops decided to search the vehicle in which he was driving.

In the vehicle the cops found three small resealable bags containing 2.5g of white powder, believed to be cocaine. The driver allegedly claimed it did not belong to him.

Officers also allegedly found a small number of tablets - the sex pill Viagra and sleeping pill Normison - in the driver’s wallet.

OK, so far, nothing too out of the ordinary. But, when officers asked the driver where he was going he told them he was on his way to pick up Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis and take them to their hotel. Interesting. But, wait it gets better. I know, I know you are still stuck on the Viagra and Normison. I think the Viagra is for Brandon and the sleeping pill is for Paris. I mean even she doesn’t want to be awake for Brandon Davis on Viagra.

So, now the police have stated that John Ibrahim owns the vehicle in which the alleged coke was found. Who in the hell is John Ibrahim? Well, it turns out that John Ibrahim is the promoter who was paying Paris’ fee for New Years Eve. Interesting huh? Now the driver sounds a little more real and a little less like the David Lee Roth impersonator in Canada.

Mr. Ibrahim has always claimed he is a legitimate businessman and has no part in the drug trade of Australia. He says that he does not own the vehicle in which the alleged cocaine was found and that he is just an acquaintance of the driver.

Wow, I wish this had happened in LA. So, what do you think? Just a coincidence or are Paris and Brandon lucky that they driver was not pulled over, say 30 minutes later.

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For those of you who had your heart set on seeing Hugh Jackman starring alongside Catherine Zeta Jones in a the 3D musical version of Cleopatra, well prepare to be crushed. Hugh has dropped out of the project because of X-Men conflicts. Apparently he has too much publicity to do for the film and so won’t have time to do the Cleopatra movie.

According to Variety Steven Soderbergh, who is going to direct the film, sees it as a kind of Elvis musical. Yeah, well maybe that is the reason Hugh took a pass on it. Either that or the idea of spending three months alongside Catherine. Then having to go do publicity for the film with her and having to pretend to enjoy it every step of the way while Michael Douglas is off in the background, mumbling, “Mama. Where are you mama? I think I need to change my diaper.”

No, I know. That is rude of me to say. It is making fun of the elderly, or people who wear adult diapers for medical reasons. But, it would be ok to make fun of him if he wore them because he was lazy right? OK, so just pretend he is lazy and then we can go back and have a laugh.

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Is the headline rude? Sorry. I’m a little tired. Hell, I’m a lot tired. Apparently the human body actually needs sleep. Who would have thunk it? I saw that Heather Locklear managed to get that little DUI thing of hers dismissed. Instead she plead no contest to reckless driving and got some probation and has to take a driving class. Yeah. I feel good about this. Just got done reading about all the drunk drivers all over the US who managed to kill people this week and heard that a friend of a friend’s mom was killed by a drunk driver the other night.

I admit that the details surrounding Heather’s arrest were a bit sketchy, but I still am not having much sympathy for her. I think she should be grateful that she got pulled over as quickly as she did that day or perhaps she would be looking at something much more serious, and much more life altering. It’s not that difficult to not drink and drive. You pick up the phone and call a cab or get someone to drive you home. Hell, I have even slept in my car just to avoid any kind of chance of causing damage to myself or others.

So, now she can honestly say she has not been convicted of a DUI and the people of Southern California can only pray that she keeps to the terms of her probation. I know I have ranted about these kinds of things before, but a DUI is just completely avoidable and is one of the most self centered acts anyone could ever perform. Hopefully she takes this as a lesson learned and we will never have to speak of it again.

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Reality TV star Jon Gosselin’s ex-flame claimed Sunday that she was being framed for trashing the dad-turned-cad’s upper West Side apartment as part of a “huge publicity stunt.”

Gosselin’s former live-in girlfriend Hailey Glassman was questioned by cops about the burglary in which someone left a handwritten note purportedly signed by her at the posh pad.

Glassman, 22, who recently split up with the “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ star moved out Wednesday. She denied looting the flat on W. 72nd St. at Broadway.

No one has been charged.

“They weren’t able to prove it was her [Glassman], but they are still looking at her,” said a police source, adding detectives found no sign of forced entry.

Gosselin’s lawyer pressed cops Sunday to find the “sick perpetrator” who trashed the apartment while Gosselin was away for Christmas visiting his family.

A vindictive note bearing Glassman’s name was attached to butcher knife speared into a bedroom dresser, cops said. Gosselin’s clothes, shoes, bed, curtains and rug also were slashed to shreds with a butcher knife, and a 100-year-old Ming vase was shattered.

“Somebody appears to be trying to frame her,” her lawyer Anand Ahuja said. “It appears to be a huge, huge, publicity stunt and nothing else.”

Ahuja refused to speculate if Gosselin was behind the break-in, but said the ex-TLC network darling told Glassman’s mother that he was being evicted because he was behind on the $5,000-a-month rent.

Glassman posted on Twitter Friday that she and Gosselin, 32, split the rent and that “he’s been pocketing our rent money.”

Gosselin – whose divorce from Kate Gosselin, the mother of his eight children, was just finalized – “was horrified” by the break-in, lawyer Mark Heller said.

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