You may or may not have heard: last week Tom Cruise and his former boss, Sumner Redstone, broke bread. They had lunch some 18 months after Redstone didn’t pick up Cruise’s contract as on-lot producer.

The reason was that Redstone had had enough of Cruise the couch-jumping Scientologist who berated Matt Lauer on the “Today” show. That was in addition to the strange Katie Holmes courtship and marriage and so on.

But now I am told that a renewed Paramount deal for Cruise and a possible “Mission: Impossible 4” are not so likely. For one thing, sources tell me it was Cruise who called Redstone, not the other way around. Things, you see, have not gone so well.

Since Cruise’s departure, he’s made the terrible box-office flop “Lions for Lambs” under his new deal with MGM/United Artists. More importantly, if Redstone allows Cruise back, he will be returning after the release this fall of “Valkyrie,” in which he plays Col. Claus von Stauffenberg, the real-life would-be assassin of Adolf Hitler, with an eye patch, a withered limb and — according to the $100 million film’s trailer — a California accent reminiscent of Jerry Maguire.

“Valkyrie” is a set up for not only failure, but ridicule. Take for example this line of dialogue that is spoken to Cruise/Claus by one of his Nazi associates: “When the SS catches you they will pull you apart like warm bread.” (Translation: he’ll be toast.)

The Valkyrie trailer already shows what a misguided idea this movie is. A description of the film’s story ends with the words “He Must Kill Hitler Himself.” Unless director Bryan Singer and writer Christopher McQuarrie have completely changed history, the actual story is not quite that: not only did von Stauffenberg botch the assassination plot, but then he was killed by Hitler.

Even more damaging to Cruise’s career already this year were the Scientology videos that popped up this winter following publication of Andrew Morton’s scathing biography of the diminutive former box-office draw. The videos show Cruise touting Scientology, proclaiming himself to be a kind of superhero and accepting an award in 2004. The eeriest clip can be found on YouTube.

The videos prompted dozens of parodies all over the Internet, all mocking Cruise. It’s not clear if he could be accepted again as an action hero, someone the audience is willing to root for, after being the butt of so many jokes.

The fact that Cruise groveled in public with Redstone would indicate that the actor knows just how bad “Valkyrie” is and that he’s trying to shore up his future before the eye patch hits the fan this fall. Certainly, a signed $20 million contract from Paramount would be insurance against this unavoidable disaster destroying his career.

It also begs the question about Cruise’s career agenda as it stands now. Beyond “Valkyrie,” he’s filmed a cameo in Ben Stiller’s “Tropic Thunder” wearing a fat suit. A preview of the film received a tepid response at aintitcoolnews.com — it’s a movie within a movie, always a bad concept as inside jokes go for the general audience.

He’s also attached to a comedy called “Men” to be directed by the less-than-elegant Todd Phillips (“Old School,” “Starsky and Hutch”). With yet another ill-conceived Ben Stiller project festering — “The Hardy Men” — it’s clear someone has decided this is Tom Cruise’s future. It’s paralyzing to think someone may have plotted this for him.

And it’s not like Cruise will find a lot of support at Paramount for his insta-return. Sources say that while the new folks running the studio would like to revive “Mission: Impossible,” they’ve been thinking more of a new young star, or an “M:I” team the way it was originally portrayed in the TV series.

“Would I like to do Mission: Impossible”? asked one Paramount exec rhetorically. “Yes, but not starring Tom Cruise.”

(source)

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